Jeremy Clarke

Jeremy Clarke writes the The Spectator Low Life column.

Low Life

The lessons I learned cycling across Rwanda

‘There is no ethnicity here now’, said my escort Eric, moments before I shot headfirst over the handlebars

By Jeremy Clarke

Low Life

What did the maid make of my penis vacuum pump?

While I was out, she had polished it and positioned it on a glass shelf lit by four spotlights

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

My journey to the heart of prehistoric England

I would be staying in this cottage in the shadow of Wansdyke to see if I wanted to rent it

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

The mysterious ways of the French

Everything in this country is as strange to me today as it was five years ago

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

A trip to Dartmoor Prison with my grandson and his cousin

Nine-year-old Oscar is a mentor to eight-year-old Lucas

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

Italy, in seven hours and five trains

People laughed when I told them my plan but nothing beats the window seat of a stopping train hugging the Ligurian coast

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

Tuscany’s killer climate

As my engine died, a thunderclap exploded overhead and I noticed that I was freezing cold and soaked to the skin

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

Will the Mistral drive me to murder?

I was the first Leaver my neighbors had met and I was treated like a former Kray or a Moonie

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

Meet Santino: the world’s worst tour guide

The sculptured eroticism of Henry II’s mistress’s bedroom brought to mind an orgy at its peak – not that he noticed

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

A moral dilemma on my freebie vacation

What should I tell people when they ask me my ‘profession’?

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

Am I about to be usurped by Philippe, our handsome French gardener?

All the women – Catriona included – seem to have fallen under his spell

By Jeremy Clarke

Art

Up close with the Rolling Stones

Ronnie Wood’s girlfriend was there – and Mick’s oldest Dartford school friend.

By Jeremy Clarke

Home

I like Donald Trump — but don’t tell anyone

I arrived for lunch a bit late and was led to the dining table. Our hostess disappeared back into the house to bring out the food, leaving me to acquaint myself with the other guests, an Englishwoman and an American. The Englishwoman said that yesterday she had fallen off the wagon after eight weeks and […]

By Jeremy Clarke

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