Low life
The lessons I learned cycling across Rwanda
‘There is no ethnicity here now’, said my escort Eric, moments before I shot headfirst over the handlebars
What did the maid make of my penis vacuum pump?
While I was out, she had polished it and positioned it on a glass shelf lit by four spotlights
My journey to the heart of prehistoric England
I would be staying in this cottage in the shadow of Wansdyke to see if I wanted to rent it
The mysterious ways of the French
Everything in this country is as strange to me today as it was five years ago
A trip to Dartmoor Prison with my grandson and his cousin
Nine-year-old Oscar is a mentor to eight-year-old Lucas
Italy, in seven hours and five trains
People laughed when I told them my plan but nothing beats the window seat of a stopping train hugging the Ligurian coast
Tuscany’s killer climate
As my engine died, a thunderclap exploded overhead and I noticed that I was freezing cold and soaked to the skin
Will the Mistral drive me to murder?
I was the first Leaver my neighbors had met and I was treated like a former Kray or a Moonie
Meet Santino: the world’s worst tour guide
The sculptured eroticism of Henry II’s mistress’s bedroom brought to mind an orgy at its peak – not that he noticed
A moral dilemma on my freebie vacation
What should I tell people when they ask me my ‘profession’?
Am I about to be usurped by Philippe, our handsome French gardener?
All the women – Catriona included – seem to have fallen under his spell
Up close with the Rolling Stones
Ronnie Wood’s girlfriend was there – and Mick’s oldest Dartford school friend.
I like Donald Trump — but don’t tell anyone
I arrived for lunch a bit late and was led to the dining table. Our hostess disappeared back into the…
