YASSSSS! SLAY KWEEEN! [insert several hand clap emojis here]
After a two-week break at a Tantric Orgasmic Virtue Eco Retreat in the Yukon, I finally got around to watching Season 8 of Game of Thrones. I had heard that people were disappointed at how it ended to the point of creating a petition to change the results very much like Brexit, and I have to say, I was not in the least bit disappointed at not being disappointed.
One thing that confused me however, was the way that many influential social justice bloggers were angry at how the character of Daenerys was portrayed. They accused the show of falling into the sexist trope of a woman being mad and hysterical, claiming that the writers had ‘failed women’. In my opinion that could not have been further from the truth. Out of all the characters, as a social justice activist, I identified with Daenerys the most. Her rousing speech at the end was inspirational. After burning down King’s Landing and slaughtering anyone who got in the way of her achieving her goal of creating a utopia, she stood in front of her army of Unsullied warriors and righteously proclaimed she had rid the people of a tyrant. As the bodies were being removed from the streets, she continued, ‘Women, men, and children have suffered too long beneath the wheel,’ calling to her forces. ‘Will you break the wheel with me?’
Tears streamed down my face as I watched her emotional display of self-adulation and weaponized virtue-signaling. As Daenerys stood there, basking in the glow of admiration from the Unsullied Antifa mob, Tyrion the Wrongthink showed his true colors by refusing to bend the knee to her plea for peace and was rightfully sentenced to death for disagreeing with her.
When Jon Snow goes to visit Tyrion (who has been no-platformed in a nearby prison cell) the miniature Alex Jones insists on spewing even more sexist alt-right hate speak against Daenerys. The writers brilliantly illustrate in this scene, how influential far-right forums such as 4chan can warp the minds of young impressionable men as Jon Snow begins to doubt his KWEEN.
Jon Snow then goes to see Daenerys with Tyrion’s Infowars-esque conspiracy theory poison still ringing in his ears. He finds her in the throne room, about to take her rightful place on the Iron Throne. Like a snake, he pretends to support her in the way that all male allies should, by agreeing with her every word and asserting his unquestioning love and respect for her. Daenerys begins to educate him in the ways of social justice (for free, mind you, she doesn’t even ask him to donate to her Patreon) and she tells him, ‘We can’t hide behind small mercies. The world we need won’t be built by men loyal to the world we have.’ Jon drops his male ally act by mansplaining:
Jon Snow: ‘The world we need is a world of mercy. It has to be.’
Daenerys: ‘And it will be. It’s not easy to see something that’s never been before: a good world.’
Jon Snow: ‘How do you know? How do you know it will be good?’
Daenerys then informs Jon that she knows what’s Good for people and that she will selflessly give it to them whether they want it or not. Jon’s mask slips further as he begins to gaslight her by asking, ‘What about everyone else? All the other people who think they know what’s Good?’ Daenerys then drops the mic on him with this solid gold true fact: ‘They don’t get to choose.’ I sat on the edge of my wicker futon and furiously jazz-handed the screen, shouting ‘YASSSS KWEEEN!!’
It was then that the scene took an incredibly misjudged wrong turn. Jon Snow violently grabs Daenerys in the #MeToo of all #MeToos and once again proclaims his ‘love’ for her like the basement-dwelling incel he is, before penetrating her with his dagger without consent.
I actually felt sick. When Drogon turned up I had a fleeting hope that Jon would be burnt to a crisp, but for some bizarre reason, the writers chose to spare him and added insult to injury later on by crowning another basement-dwelling incel as KING. It was at that point I smashed my TV. I literally couldn’t watch any more of this Far-Right sexist drivel. I was appalled at the obvious propaganda.
I demand the writers go back to the storyboards and rewrite the end thusly:
Jon Snow goes to see Daenerys, he realizes her lived experience is valid and that she is stunning and brave. He thanks her for educating him and offers to donate to her Patreon. Daenerys is crowned Queen. In her speech to the four people who survived the massacre of King’s Landing, Daenerys reveals she is transgender. Jon Snow announces he’s choosing to live the rest of his life as a gay man. The whole of Westeros stands up and applauds.
Fade to credits. The End.