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ICEbae joins OnlyFans

Consider your deportation fetish satisfied

August 7, 2020

3:20 PM

7 August 2020

3:20 PM

Lock me up! If you hate illegal immigration and love thirst traps, Cockburn has wonderful news for you.

Kiara ‘ICEbae’ Cervantes, a Customs and Border Protection Officer who went viral last year when pictured at the border with Vice President Mike Pence, has made an OnlyFans account.

For a monthly payment of $30, fans of the stunning border officer will have access to her personalized NSFW content. ‘Ask and you shall receive 😜,’ her bio reads. ‘Excited to get personal and closer to my amazing and loving fans! 2020 has been rough, but hopefully I can be your reason to smile and push through these difficult times! ☺️’

‘I think I’m coming down with a case of undocumentation!’ one user joked. ‘Tell AOC we breaking up and tell ICE to come get me!’

‘I don’t feel objectified, it’s just the internet,’ Cervantes told VICE. That must be music to the ears of all the horny Twitter fiends dreaming of her locking them in a cage for a night.

Cervantes also told VICE that she’s been offered many business opportunities since her internet. She claimed someone offered her $50,000 to simply have dinner with her, a proposal she declined.

‘For you to succeed in life, the internet is not going to do that for you, unless I guess you’re an Instagram model,’ she said. ‘Let’s just say Instagram goes down one day. Then what?’

It appears the global pandemic has caused her to have a change of view. The decision is certainly paying off though. Her account hit the top 3.5 percent of OnlyFans within hours. However, some of her subscribers took to Reddit to express their displeasure with her content, as it doesn’t yet include any full-on nudes.

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‘Lol she posts the same stuff on Instagram but now she has guys pay her for these pictures,’ one user wrote.

‘Lmao bro I’m bout to get a refund ASAP,’ another wrote.

The $30 price tag may be a bit steep. But the thought of ICEbae disciplining illegal immigrants by day and titillating horny Americans by night is an interesting one. Perhaps conservatives should cancel their OnlyFans subscription to Jacob Wohl and reinvest in ICEbae.

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