The presidential election hurtles towards us like a portentous comet; hailing joyous salvation, or foreshadowing unfathomable doom. Of course the latter of those refers to the possibility of decent Americans being forced to endure four more years of Donald Trump in the White House. Life under Trump’s hateful regime has been intolerable. Could you even call it ‘life’? More like simply surviving. Eking out a paltry existence each day like a season finale of The Walking Dead. Desperately holding onto the tentative hope that one day Trump will be overthrown, his army of MAGA zombies finally silenced, and his fascistic dictatorship brought to an end — via the means of a democratic election (seeing as every possible method of impeachment has failed).

I could not bear to contemplate a world in which Trump wins the 2020 election. The importance of this is immeasurable. The damage Trump has done to America is indefinable. He’s caused such a significant amount of disruption it’s literally impossible to accurately explain exactly what it is he’s done. If you were to ask me: ‘Why do you want Trump to go?’ I would have to shrug and say ‘Because, uhm, he’s racist and sexist and stuff’. I would struggle to pinpoint one single issue, there’s just far too many. That’s how terrifyingly harmful his presidency has been. Not to mention the fact that he’s orange. And a man. And bad.

Joe Biden must win. He has to win. I can imagine no alternative version of the future without balking. Biden brings hope to us all. For one thing, he was adamant he wanted a woman as his vice presidential nominee, regardless of how capable she is, and you cannot get more progressive than that. He also made sure to pick a brown one. Double-plus woke points for that.

So, who is Joe Biden? Well, to answer that question, Kamala Harris is a mixed-race woman who takes no crap from anyone. She’s the first African American, the first Asian-American, and the third female vice presidential running mate in American’s history. How qualified is Joe Biden to lead the American people into a new dawn, you may well ask. Have no fear, Kamala Harris served as the junior US senator from California from 2017, so Biden is more than qualified if you ask me. Most importantly is Biden’s role as a transitional president, a facilitator for a woman to acquire some real power. Move over Obama, your presidential legacy is about to slide down a step on the progressive pyramid.

Who is Kamala Harris? Wow, now that’s the best question I’ve imagined you asking me so far. Kamala Harris is a woman. A woman of color. A woman of integrity. She had the guts to publicly call out Joe Biden when he’d been accused of sexual harassment by several women. She bravely stood her ground, making a public statement that men on all sides of the political arena are capable of wrongdoing and that ALL women must be believed. Of course, when it became tragically clear that her own campaign had failed a few months later, she graciously accepted the position as Joe Biden’s VP because principles are a privilege that only white men can afford to have. Kamala is no stranger to oppression after she become the lowest polling candidate in the primaries, purely because the basement-dwelling man-babies couldn’t stand the idea of a woman taking center stage once more, echoing the vitriolic reaction towards Brie Larson in Captain Marvel. And very much like Captain Marvel, Kamala climbed right back up onto that podium and continued to educate people on how to pronounce her name (‘Kar-ma-lar’ to rhyme with ‘Par-ma-lar’).

The official slogan for the Biden/Harris campaign is ‘Build Back Better’, which is certainly a bunch of words and good luck to them with that. It’s certainly an improvement on ‘Build a wall’ which let’s face it, is a skill that even members of the working class can learn to be proficient in. But I feel that my unofficial ‘I’m With Her/Him’ Harris/Biden campaign slogan signals a much stronger message. It is a nod to Hilary (and what could have been), along with the inclusion of a subliminal validation highlighting the need to respect LGBTQ+ pronouns. I’ve had bumper stickers made specifically for Hybrids so that my eco-friendly comrades can spread the word while saving the planet.

Biden has promised to protect the American people. He has pledged to defend our nation from threats both seen (Trump) and unseen (also Trump but hiding behind a bush). Admittedly, he can be a bit ‘touchy-feely’, but what’s a bit of aggressive cuddling when it comes to freeing us from the tyranny of Drumpf? I will gladly let Biden sniff my hair and whisper sweet nothings in my ear if it means we no longer have an obscenely wealthy probable sex offender in the White House.

If Trump wins this election I honestly have no idea how I could ever have faith in the human race again. I have no idea why anyone who isn’t a racist would vote for Trump and therefore I can only conclude that the KKK has swelled its ranks a thousand fold over the past decade. Trump is white, he’s old, and he’s been accused of sexual harassment on more than one occasion. That’s why I’m voting for Joe Biden.