Spectator USA

Skip to Content

Humor Life

Minnesota doesn’t deserve Ilhan Omar

The majority of Trump-idolaters criticize Islam for not allowing women to choose who they wish to marry

February 23, 2020

2:18 PM

23 February 2020

2:18 PM

I remember the ceremony as if it were yesterday. I was six-years-old. It was a beautiful summer’s afternoon in the forest clearing where my parents and I lived in an anti-capitalist pagan countercultural commune. The sun’s rays danced playfully around the lilies in my mother’s crown, while a gossamer-winged butterfly flitted gracefully above father’s hemp yashmak. The High Priestess held aloft the skull from a dismembered deer carcass which had died of natural causes, and we all wept. As we each gave thanks to the Oak King by placing one of our teeth on the sanctified Tree Stump of Renewal, I felt an unwavering connection to Gaia. However, these days, whenever I tell a member of the corporate slave mill of the time I symbolically married my own parents, they honestly look at me with an expression of ignorant incredulity and any attempt to explain the significance of the spiritual bond it cemented between us falls on closed ears.

My memories of my idyllic childhood spent under the guidance of the Wiccan Deities reside in a special place in my mind’s eco-friendly conservation reserve. Of course, in my teenage years I discovered Islam and by the time I was 18 I had renounced Paganism to embrace my new religion: Muslim atheism. 

So, with that personal lived experience in mind it comes as no surprise to me that the incestuous redneck uncle-fuckers in Minnesota are currently dragging Ilhan Omar for the so-called ‘crime’ of marrying her brother. The hypocrisy of these trailer trash gun owning inbred cousin bangers is staggering, but also entirely expected. 


It’s been reported that Ilhan Omar married her brother Ahmed Elmi so that he could remain in the US. But, let me ask you, if she did marry her brother, so what? The majority of Trump-idolaters criticize Islam for not allowing women to choose who they wish to marry. They constantly pour scorn and condemnation over the idea of forced marriages, but the moment a strong independent Muslim women destroys that stereotype and marries her brother out of CHOICE, they condemn her for it. This proves that their concern-trolling exists purely to castigate those who think differently to them, and as we all know, Trump supporters despise anyone who has a different opinion or way of life.

It is being claimed that while married to her brother, Ilhan had a relationship and a child with her first husband Ahmed Hirsi. Again, so what? Here we have a Muslim woman who is not only marrying whomever she chooses, she is also experimenting with polyamorous relationships. NASCAR fans are notoriously afraid of progressive ideologies, and so it’s no wonder that Ilhan’s unconventional life choices have sent them all into a frenzy. The very idea of a non-white, non-Christian female representing them in Congress is as alien to them as not punching their wives when the Twins lose the World Series. 

Moonshine-guzzling Trump-worshipping hillbillies are also incredibly racist and think all brown people are terrorists. They ride around in their rusted pickup trucks, lynching black people, waving their Confederate flags wearing Dixie Outfitters t-shirts, ignorantly stereotyping anyone who isn’t white. Well, Ilhan is an anomaly to them. She doesn’t fit their narrow view of what it is to be a Muslim woman. She confuses their hooch-addled brains, and I for one support her unorthodox lifestyle.


Sign up to receive a daily summary of the best of Spectator USA


Show comments
Close