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Cockburn

Can the MyPillow guy give Ilhan Omar sleepless nights?

Or should he get stuffed?

July 26, 2019

8:11 AM

26 July 2019

8:11 AM

Might Mike Lindell the MyPillow Guy slip the quote marks of social media irony and run for office in Minnesota? The entrepreneur says the ‘horrible’ Ilhan Omar is giving him and all decent Americans sleepless nights. Can the man who promised to ‘Fix My Pillow’ fix American politics — or will Lindell lose his stuffing?

The idea for MyPillow came to Lindell in a dream. At the time, he needed a rest. He’d just shed a long-term cocaine and crack addiction that culminated in a binge that kept him awake for two weeks. A decade and 30 million restful nights later, Lindell has prospered in a tough market. He’s also overcome a challenge as great as getting off the pipe — surviving the abuse that face any public supporter of Donald Trump and defender of Laura Ingraham.

Cockburn is still probing the White House domestics for information on the presidential sleeping arrangements, so he can’t yet confirm whether Donald Trump, a president famed for his fondness for an early night, goes prone on a MyPillow, or whether Melania, with the peasant thrift and skill of her native Slovenia, spends her evenings quietly gutting and de-lumping her pillows according to the instructions in Lindell’s cult YouTube videos and infomercials. But Cockburn can confirm that Lindell is pro-Trump, pro-business, pro-life — he invested $1m in the film Unplanned — and anti-Omar.

‘I will tell you this,’ Lindell said this week about his plans to hold rallies across the Gopher State. ‘I’m going to do so much in Minnesota over the next year and a half, you won’t even see any blue.’ Sheep-counters, insomniacs and connoisseurs of QVC will note the similarity in sales pitch to Lindell’s magic pillow.

Lindell’s official position on a run is ‘not at this time’, according to an interview he gave to Fox and Friends this morning where he claimed his earlier remarks had been stripped of their context. He did say he ‘would love to do it’ if he wasn’t so busy. But Ilhan Omar should be losing sleep at the prospect of an effort from the pillow-plumper and super-Trumper who promises to break the Democratic stranglehold on his state. There are serious unanswered question about Omar — claims of immigration fraud, for a start — and Lindell isn’t handicapped by political correctness.

She made her bed. Now she’s going to have to lie in it. Question is, how good is Omar at lying?


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