Press release, Feb 2021
Northam PR Group Associated Strategies
Welcome to Northam PR Group Associated Strategies, a new business group dedicated to helping individuals, corporations, and governments dealing with reputation crises.
We founded our group two years ago after our now Chairman Ralph Northam, the former Governor of Virginia, exhibited extraordinary prowess in dealing with a photograph from his high-school yearbook that appeared to show him either wearing ‘blackface’ or a Ku Klux Klan hood. Northam improvised our now signature media relations strategy: CADDOC.
6) Confuse, and possibly offer to moonwalk
Are you facing a barrage of negative publicity? Have you been accused of racism/sexism/sexual abuse/corruption or other similar crimes? Our Rapid Reputation Rehabilitation Team is here to help and we offer innovative and unique solutions.
1) A famous male actor accused of sexual misconduct against young woman.
Using CADDOC method, Northam advises famous actor to get out in front of the crisis by profound apology, and show of emotion. After 24-hour pause, Northam instructs actor to repeal his apology, lecture press on dangers of sexism, then refer to a separate sex crime that he may or may not have committed against a different, younger woman, repeatedly.
2) A biological research company has a laboratory accident, spilling thousands of toxic chemicals into a large lake and poisonings local residents.
Northam advises company to seize the media narrative by admitting, in a written statement, that the accident has in fact killed several local residents, despite reports of no fatalities. The following day, under instructions from our specialized team of public speaking advisers, the chairman denies any wrongdoing on the company’s part. He did, however, concede that, 25 years ago, the company had emitted poisonous gasses inside a school playground ‘for test purposes’.
3) A political leader’s son-in-law is accused of selling sensitive state security information to a Middle East nation.
Northam advises son-in-law to try our refined ‘outshame’ techniques by flying to said Middle East nation, shaking hands publicly with its most corrupt leaders. As part of a twin-track Confuse strategy, politician’s father-in-law is then advised to threaten to ‘obliterate’ Middle East country with military action unless son-in-law is returned. As part of Distract strategy, leader is then advised to hint that ‘maybe he did’ collude with a foreign power in a national election some years earlier.
Warning. Northam PR solutions are not for everyone. And we strongly advise against individuals attempting our media performance strategies without our expert guidance, including from key media influencer Ralph Northam.