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Cockburn

Milo’s ‘magnificent 2019 comeback’ page only lasted a few hours

He’s just been censored by Patreon

December 5, 2018

5:34 PM

5 December 2018

5:34 PM

Poor, poor Milo. His story goes from bad to sad to miserable. He is $4 million in debt, it was revealed this week, and how his enemies are gloating.

Clearly desperate, Milo just attempted to solicit funds through donations online, like a charity or a scam, and front it out through flamboyance. But his ‘Milo is creating his magnificent 2019 comeback’ page. lasted only a few hours before Patreon blocked it.

‘Milo Yiannopoulos was removed from Patreon as we don’t allow association with or supporting hate groups on Patreon,’ tweeted the company.

Cockburn isn’t vindictive. He’s no Milo admirer but he thinks it’s a shame the page has closed down. It was comedy gold. Just look at how he divided up his sponsor tiers:

For $2.50 a month you could join Milo’s Big Gay Army and ‘support Milo’s Glorious Comeback.’

For $10 become a ‘Sassy Bitch…10 percent Off All Merchandise For Life.’

For $25 join the ‘Trigger Squad…Free Milo Ringtones And SMS Alert Pack (WARNING: Strong Language!)’

For $50 you can ‘unleash the beast … Personalized Thank You Message. Elites-Only Private Email Updates. Public YouTube Q&A (Questions Limited To Elite Tiers.)’

For $250 you are a Milo Connoisseur, and Milo will record your voicemail greeting.

For $500 dollars ‘Milo Will Call You On Your Birthday’; you also have 24/7 access to Milo’s pensées on WhatsApp.

‘I’ve never asked for money like this before,’ begged Milo on the now defunct page. ‘And I’ll be soliciting investment and donations from wealthy and private supporters.’ Natch. Meantime, it’s you, unworthy plebs, who will have to dig Milo out of his $2-4 million debts.

Cockburn was on the verge of signing up for a birthday phone call. What could have been! Did the 2019 Milo comeback stop before it began?


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