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We need to do something about people doing something about Baltimore

Make Baltimore Dirty Again

August 8, 2019

11:42 AM

8 August 2019

11:42 AM

‘If the city was not going to help us clean up trash, well — by golly — we went out there with 170 volunteers. We cleaned up 12 tons of trash in 12 hours,’ tweeted @ScottPresler this Wednesday.

MAGA-worshipper Scott was referring to a cleanup he organized on Monday in West Baltimore, a place Trump had previously referred to as ‘rodent infested’. Scott and 170 volunteers cleared away trash, trimmed down plants in overgrown alleyways and swept the streets while updating their progress on his Twitter feed. When they had finished, the neighborhoods were clear of garbage for the first time in 11 years. What on Earth was he thinking? Is there anything more patronizing than a Trump supporter assuming poor people, (particularly poor people of color) need help in some way? He had no business embarrassing the citizens of West Baltimore by getting together a team of volunteers and literally HELPING them. I mean, I know Donald Trump’s MAGA fanbois are all for ethnic cleansing, but perhaps they’ve taken it a bit too literally here?

After the cleanup, in a video posted on Presler’s Twitter account, a woman is shown saying: ‘I’m elated. I really am. I’m really happy. I want to cry but I’m not a cryer so I’ll just keep smiling.’ Just sickening. I have no doubt in my mind that this ‘woman’ was a paid actor, probably funded by the Russians or James Woods or one of the Baldwins. What kind of activist does things like this? Scott Presler needs to stay in his lane. Although as a Deplorable, I’m not surprised he doesn’t understand genuine activism does not involve going out into the real world and making meaningful changes. The very thought of this is quite ludicrous. Real activism in 2019 means posting long tweet-threads to own the fascists, letting your social media disciples know how much you are against bad things while posting a link to your Patreon account every other day to ensure you don’t run out of other people’s money like a good socialist. It’s almost as if Scott has gone out of his way to make serious online activists like me look like ineffectual narcissists. Pfft. As if.

Thankfully, to balance out this appalling and probably racist act of ignorance, The Baltimore Sun had this to say:

‘Whatever he says his motives were, Mr. Presler’s presence in Baltimore reinforces the tired image of our failing urban cores. That the poor people in this dilapidated city can’t take care of their own neighborhoods and all the public officials around them have failed as well.’

I was heartened by these words and inspired to do the only thing I felt would truly help these people. Via the use of strategic bribes I accumulated through my 24-hour online Crowdfunder: ‘Make Baltimore Dirty Again’, I have been able to ‘persuade’ a convoy of garbage trucks to divert their journeys to nearby town dumps and instead offload their waste across the streets of West Baltimore. Over the next three days, a total of 135 tonnes of garbage will be given back to the poor so that they can regain their self-respect by cleaning it up themselves.

Imagine the looks of pride on the citizens’ faces as they scrabble about in the sea of trash which adorns their neighborhoods. I can picture them holding their heads high, as they diligently wade through other people’s junk, restoring order to the embarrassment of clean pristine streets Scott Presler cruelly inflicted upon them.

Returning dignity to the citizens of Baltimore by showering their homes in crud will certainly be one in the eye for Trump’s Deplorables and I hope it teaches Scott Presler a valuable lesson when it comes to ‘helping’ people. People don’t want help if it comes from Trump supporters.


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