Is Meghan, Duchess of Malibu a Manchurian Markle? That’s what the pundits are pondering after it emerged Tuesday night that Markle could tip the 2020 election in President Trump’s favor. 

Meghan and Harry, speaking via unnamed ‘friends’, say they won’t contemplate living in the US — not even in Oprah’s safe room — until Trump is no longer president. On Tuesday, a Spectator poll confirmed that, in yet another case of foreign interference in an American election, this underhand PR ploy has worked instantly:

The people have spoken, and not only in Spanish:

  • 85.3 percent are willing to vote Trump in order to keep Meghan and Harry out of the US
  • That’s a right royal majority, equivalent to eight in every 10 Americans plus the cruelly mutilated torso of 0.53 of an American
  • Only 14.7 percent of the American public, approximately 850 people, want to live in the same country as Meghan and Harry
  • Drilling down into the data, we can confirm that most of that 14.7 percent are gang members, drug dealers and Democratic bundlers in Hollywood
  • As further suspicious online activity is traced to servers in Canada, the FBI announces it intends to make close inspections of Harry’s cellphone and Meghan’s bot


The Spectator poll, the latest method for gauging voters’ intentions, uses computer models derived from the Economist/YouGov and Florida Atlantic University polling methods, hybridized with the Twitter algorithm and Latin jazz cross-rhythms. We polled a massive 7,266 people — a sample equivalent to the entire legal population of Arizona — with a margin of error reduced to 45 percent.