‘What do we burn apart from witches?’ ‘More witches!’
A pitchfork-and-iPhone-wielding diversity mob is running amok in major metropolitan areas and on social media, calling for the wholesale destruction of statues, monuments and institutions that mark the history of racism in the United States.
In their efforts to build a more perfect union, the mob has so far succeeded in canceling Gone with the Wind, Aunt Jemima, police-themed Legos and thousands of average, working-class Americans. Thanks to these ‘stunning’ and ‘brave’ civil rights heroes, little black boys and girls in America will never again feel terrorized, oppressed, or microaggressed during Saturday morning pancakes or afternoon playtime.
As anyone with the IQ above that of a sea cucumber has noticed, canceling all things with even the slightest whiff of racism sets a dangerous precedent and fails to recognize the nuances in American life and history. Nevertheless, here’s a list of some historical figures with monuments that could properly use a good dose of canceling from the modern-day, self-appointed thought police.
For instance, what if the citizens of the nation of CHAZ learned that there is a public monument to a genocidal maniac located just across the bay from their newly-formed republic?
Yes, CHAZ comrades, a statue of the Soviet revolutionary Vladimir Lenin graces the Seattle neighborhood of Fremont. Under his leadership, the Russian communists founded their first gulag shortly after the Russian Revolution, constructing 84 prison camps by the year 1921.
But then maybe we should scratch this monument off the list, as we note that Lenin’s punishment of dissidents without fair trial seems to be the jurisprudence of CHAZ and today’s broader extrajudicial left-wing.
If the mob wakes up one morning particularly thirsty for the blood of racists, they ought to go after Margaret Sanger — the founder of Planned Parenthood and a committed eugenicist who advocated tirelessly for ‘a stern and rigid policy of sterilization and segregation to that grade of population whose progeny is already tainted, or whose inheritance is such that objectionable traits may be transmitted to offspring.’
According to the CDC, Planned Parenthood aborts three times as many black babies as white babies. Each year, more black babies are aborted in New York City than are born alive.
Those who virtue-signal by fighting systemic racism ought to take on the American abortion industry. They can start by shaming and spamming Planned Parenthood into canceling its annual Margaret Sanger Award — with which it still proudly honors its founder — or by tearing down Margaret Sanger Square in New York City.
If the mob wants to keep its promise of ‘No Trump, no KKK, no fascist USA’, then it ought to look within the ranks of the modern Democratic party.
The late Democratic West Virginia senator Robert C. Byrd was a member of the KKK and recruited 150 of his friends to a new chapter in Sophia, West Virginia, just a few years before beginning his long political career. There are countless roads, bridges, schools, and buildings named after Byrd in West Virginia.
In 2019, a yearbook picture of current Democratic Virginia governor Ralph Northam emerged, depicting the governor either wearing blackface or a KKK robe — apparently, he doesn’t remember which, but nevertheless successfully moonwalked his way out of the scandal. Mark Herring, Virginia’s current Democratic attorney general, also admitted to wearing blackface. If Megyn Kelly were to win office as a Democrat in Virginia, the group could start their own chapter of the NAACP.
Lastly, perhaps the most notorious racist in modern American history donated to the campaigns of Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Chuck Schumer, Rahm Emanuel, John Kerry, Harry Reid, and other leading Democrats over the past few decades. Yes, it’s true: the nation’s Democratic leadership accepted cash from none other than America’s biggest, scariest, and meanest racist ever: Donald Trump.
Off with their heads!