The left is resurrecting the apparatus of white supremacy in the name of wokeness. BuzzFeed has launched a chat bot so people in interracial relationships can express anonymously the concerns they’re not comfortable revealing to their partner. After decades of apparently growing tolerance, we’ve landed at a place where romantic segregation is more progressive than the idea that love is love.
‘People of color who are dating white partners and who came into their racial identity in the past few years have said they’ve started questioning their relationships and desires,’ BuzzFeed claims. The confession bot is a ‘space’ where people can express identitarian misgivings they are too afraid to share with their partners.
The confessions land in four categories:
Feelings of alienation that should be expressed directly, regardless of identity:
‘Do you actually like me for me?’
‘Being around my boyfriend’s family makes me realize that I am not white and we are not equal.’
‘I know you may feel as if you are not entitled to an opinion, but you 100 percent are.’
Worries that your attraction is, or is perceived as, a fetish:
‘Sometimes I worry that I am somehow fetishizing these men, but I have been attracted to brown men as far back as I can remember.’
‘As an Asian woman dating a white man it’s frustrating how many people will just ask if he has an Asian fetish.’
‘I sometimes worry that, as a white woman, I fetishize my partner’s racial identity.’
Things that are about everything else except you and your partner:
‘Sometimes I feel as if I have let my entire race down by being with you.’
‘I wish I knew how to navigate appreciating and using elements from your world in a way that won’t offend anyone…’
‘I constantly receive backlash that I’m taking black men “away”.’
Feeling like you’re not really understood:
‘My husband doesn’t like ethnic food so I don’t cook the foods I grew up with often.’
‘If I had known in my twenties when we met what I know now, I’m not sure I would have entered into a relationship with him or any other white man. A partner who listens is a blessing, but it’s not the same as a partner who understands.’
‘I felt I couldn’t talk to my partner about being treated differently because he had never been treated like that, but he understood (it took a while)…’
The confessions, and BuzzFeed’s perception that an anonymous chat bot was needed, show how identity politics have invaded every aspect of our lives, and not in a liberating way.
The New York Times ran an op-ed from a Dominican man: ‘I think I broke up with my last girlfriend because she’s white. Actually, no, I definitely broke up with her because she’s white.’ He says that ‘when some brown and black people in my community started giving me a hard time about dating white women, I sensed they’d be happier if I stopped’.
NPR’s Invisibilia podcast featured an Asian female guest who wondered if her preferences were racist. She thought that ‘sexual attraction just happened to you, an inexplicable, biological force that shouldn’t be questioned and definitely not shamed…or at least, that’s the story in our culture — a romantic story that, I think, prevents us from looking at all the crud that lies beneath.’
Rewire suggests that it’s ‘racist to have a racial dating preference’, and racist not to have one: ‘This isn’t to say that any sort of attraction a white person has for a person of color is inherently problematic. In fact, if you’re a white person who’s only ever attracted to white people it’s probably worth examining any internalized feelings you have toward people of color.’ If you’re not attracted to everyone equally, you’re a problem.
The only thing wrong with fetishizing someone is if they’re not on board. Assuming that a person has the stereotypical traits associated with his or her group will probably lead to disappointment when your expectations are shattered. But there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to one type of person over another. Who you find hot in your own head is your business. Who you want to sleep with is up to you.
If the answer to the question ‘is my attraction to a specific race racist?’ is yes, then the solution is to date people you’re not sexually attracted to. That’s the racial equivalent of trying to ‘cure’ homosexuality by guilt-tripping gays into heterosexual dating, and a sure plan for heartbreak and bad sex. Also, sleeping with someone you’re not attracted to just so you can prove to yourself you’re not a bad person is plain cruel.
Before Civil Rights, interracial relationships were a big no-no for white supremacists. They had a name for it, miscegenation, and in some states they had laws to prevent it. This was a bad thing. We pushed through that, until Benetton ads featuring biracial models in multi-colored knits became their own stereotype. Now we’re back to the idea that the races are innately alien to each other.
We need to remove obstructions to honesty and communication, not resurrect the apparatus of white supremacy in the name of wokeness. Dividing by racial collectivization is wrong no matter who does it and why. Love is love, so let’s get with that for real and stop putting barriers between us. And talk to your partners, not an anonymous BuzzFeed confession bot.
