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What’s happening to Jennifer Rubin?

The coronavirus appears to have claimed what remains of the Washington Post writer’s sanity

October 6, 2020

6:09 AM

6 October 2020

6:09 AM

Coronavirus claimed a prominent victim in Washington on Monday. No, it wasn’t the President, of course. Instead, the China flu appeared to consume the sanity of Washington Post op-ed writer Jennifer Rubin.

Monday evening was a night of surreal political takes all over the place. Erin Burnett compared Trump’s return from Walter Reed with political rallies in North Korea. Joy Reid chose the more euphonic ‘Mussolini moment’. Jeb Bush’s former communications director (does any title better convey a lack of expertise than that one?) called it ‘the weirdest shit I have ever seen in my life.’

Thousands of responses would have landed in Cockburn’s Cringe Hall of Fame just a few years ago, yet on Monday, all of them were mere candles compared to the blazing sun of Rubin.

Two weeks removed from dropping the vestigial ‘conservative’ label on her Twitter profile, Rubin reacted to the President’s not-so-fatal case of COVID with an online episode for the ages. In a blistering 93-minute span, Rubin issued 34 original tweets, a pace of one tweet every two minutes and 44 seconds.

The rant began with a vow to investigate and punish the President’s doctors for the sin of letting a patient walk out of the hospital:

Rubin then turned her ire to next week’s scheduled debate:

These thoughts had barely been published for Rubin was on to the next phase of her panic attack. Rubin, who based on her manner may not have left her bedroom since March, was soon demanding the total evacuation of the White House.

By the end of it all, Rubin was reduced dreaming up bizarre conspiracy theories in her fried cerebrum only so she could vomit them forth for public consumption:

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The climax came at 3:05, when Rubin said that the president’s decision to leave a hospital and recuperate at home was so dangerous, so unfathomable, so extreme, that the only rational response was a Cabinet coup d’état.

Having settled the matter of Mike Pence’s ‘defective character’, Rubin was soon inventing spinoff conspiracy theories, attributing sinister intent to his desire to sit in a chair.

Of course, the 2000, 2004, 2012 and 2016 vice presidential debates were all seated as well, but when you feel obliged to tweet every 164 seconds, doing basic research may be too demanding. Poor Jennifer. Cockburn wishes her a speedy recovery — whatever she does, she shouldn’t rush her convalescence just for the sake of public appearances.

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