Low life

french

In praise of French doctors

June 27, 2020 11:43 am

Thirty-five years ago, my nurse had competed against an English team who played rugby with a violence that was incredible

didier

Is left the new right?

June 18, 2020 1:23 pm

Emile had the face of one who had stared into the abyss at exactly the moment the wind had changed

xanax pharma

The joy of Xanax

June 8, 2020 6:20 pm

Back in her examination room, I presented her with my sample

brexit

An 11-year-old’s birthday party was hijacked by Brexit

June 4, 2020 5:50 pm

While our guests laid into Boris and Dominic Cummings, the birthday boy and I played with matches

communist bar

Our village has a communist bar and a fascist bar. If only I could remember which is which

May 28, 2020 3:11 pm

If there’s a televised match on somewhere in the world, the communist bar will be showing it on the big screen with the volume turned up

deconfinement dinner party

Rules for a deconfinement dinner party

May 21, 2020 2:44 pm

Our place settings were as widely spaced as the surrounding Provençal geography

party

My first post-lockdown party

May 14, 2020 5:41 pm

Perhaps this boozy convivial affair will shake me out of my macabre state

french doctor benoit

Shrieks, shots and broken china: a visit to my rural French doctor

May 12, 2020 12:14 pm

As we all sat in the waiting room, we wondered what social enormity the doctor might commit next

spectator offices

Vodka, kaolin and morphine: my welcome drinks at The Spectator offices

April 23, 2020 5:09 pm

After I’d partaken of this cocktail with Mary Wakefield, I had my first encounter with a speechless Boris Johnson

hospital

I was relishing the lockdown a week ago, but now I need urgent hospital treatment

April 9, 2020 4:26 pm

I need to have a stent removed from my urethra — and pronto

hannah arendt

My love affair with Hannah Arendt

March 19, 2020 5:15 pm

Stoned out of our minds on a few puffs, we watched in awed silence, hanging on her every word, every clause, every sentence

drugs

White Christmas: the magic of the festive drugs binge

December 17, 2019 4:44 am

Among partying druggies, the trust that has disappeared from every level of society is fully present

rwanda

The lessons I learned cycling across Rwanda

November 21, 2019 2:05 pm

‘There is no ethnicity here now’, said my escort Eric, moments before I shot headfirst over the handlebars

maid gong yoga

What did the maid make of my penis vacuum pump?

November 19, 2019 1:13 pm

While I was out, she had polished it and positioned it on a glass shelf lit by four spotlights

wansdyke

My journey to the heart of prehistoric England

October 31, 2019 10:35 am

I would be staying in this cottage in the shadow of Wansdyke to see if I wanted to rent it

french

The mysterious ways of the French

September 5, 2019 10:50 am

Everything in this country is as strange to me today as it was five years ago

A trip to Dartmoor Prison with my grandson and his cousin

August 1, 2019 2:59 pm

Nine-year-old Oscar is a mentor to eight-year-old Lucas

italy

Italy, in seven hours and five trains

July 18, 2019 12:14 pm

People laughed when I told them my plan but nothing beats the window seat of a stopping train hugging the Ligurian coast

climate

Tuscany’s killer climate

July 11, 2019 4:13 pm

As my engine died, a thunderclap exploded overhead and I noticed that I was freezing cold and soaked to the skin

mistral

Will the Mistral drive me to murder?

May 9, 2019 2:19 pm

I was the first Leaver my neighbors had met and I was treated like a former Kray or a Moonie

tour guide

Meet Santino: the world’s worst tour guide

May 2, 2019 11:37 am

The sculptured eroticism of Henry II’s mistress’s bedroom brought to mind an orgy at its peak – not that he noticed

freebie vacation

A moral dilemma on my freebie vacation

April 18, 2019 9:55 am

What should I tell people when they ask me my ‘profession’?

gardener

Am I about to be usurped by Philippe, our handsome French gardener?

April 4, 2019 1:01 pm

All the women – Catriona included – seem to have fallen under his spell

Up close with the Rolling Stones

July 6, 2018 3:37 pm

Ronnie Wood’s girlfriend was there – and Mick’s oldest Dartford school friend.

I like Donald Trump — but don’t tell anyone

September 2, 2017 9:00 am

I arrived for lunch a bit late and was led to the dining table. Our hostess disappeared back into the…