What do you do if decisions that used to be made by humans, with all their biases, start being made by algorithms that are mathematically incapable of bias? If you’re rational, you should celebrate. If you’re a militant liberal, you recognize this development for the mortal threat it is, and scramble to take back control.

You can see this unfolding at AI conferences. Last week I attended the 2020 edition of NeurIPS, the leading international machine learning conference. What started as a small gathering now brings together enough people to fill a sports arena. This year, for the first time, NeurIPS required most papers to include a ‘broader impacts’ statement, and to be subject to review by an ethics board. Every paper describing how to speed up an algorithm, for example, now needs to have a section on the social goods and evils of this obscure technical advance. ‘Regardless of scientific quality or contribution,’ stated the call for papers, ‘a submission may be rejected for… including methods, applications, or data that create or reinforce unfair bias.’

This was only the latest turn of the ratchet. Previous ones have included renaming the conference to something more politically correct and requiring attendees to explicitly accept a comprehensive ‘code of conduct’ before they can register, which allows the conference to kick attendees out for posting something on social media that officials disapproved of. More seriously, a whole subfield of AI has sprung up with the express purpose of, among other things, ‘debiasing’ algorithms. That’s now in full swing.

I posted a few tweets raising questions about the latest changes — and the cancel mob descended on me. Insults, taunts, threats — you name it. You’d think that scientists would be above such behaviors, but no. I pointed out that NeurIPS is an outlier in requiring broader impact statements, and the cancelers repeatedly changed the subject. I argued against the politicization of AI, but they took that as a denial that any ethical considerations are valid. A corporate director of machine learning research, also a Caltech professor, published on Twitter for all to see a long list of people to cancel, their sole crime being to have followed me or liked one of my tweets. The same crowd succeeded in making my university issue a statement disavowing my views and reaffirming its liberal credentials.

Why the fuss? Data can have biases, of course, as can data scientists. And algorithms that are coded by humans can in principle do whatever we tell them. But machine-learning algorithms, like pretty much all algorithms you find in computer-science textbooks, are essentially just complex mathematical formulas that know nothing about race, gender or socioeconomic status. They can’t be racist or sexist any more than the formula y = a x + b can.

Daniel Kahneman’s bestselling book, Thinking, Fast and Slow, has a whole chapter on how algorithms are more objective than humans, and therefore make better decisions. To the militant liberal mind, however, they are cesspools of iniquity and must be cleaned up.