The march to war!

The beat of keyboards resounded across the land as thousands of our brave xirs in black answered their nation’s call to arms last weekend. They were men, women, and miscellaneous, briefly leaving behind all the comforts of a boozy brunch or Saturday morning Etsy shopping spree in order to defend democracy against fascism at whatever the cost. Flabby in body but firm in spirit, prepared to conquer any obstacle in their path, this civilian army, joined by the fearless allies in Hollywood led by General Chrissy Teigen arrived at the Twitter front to defend our way of life from Hospitaliano! axis forces.

Elite members of the boycott brigade stormed the mentions of fascism’s Olive Garden operation, launching a #BoycottOliveGarden nuke into the stratosphere of Twitter’s trending topics. The mission came in response to top secret allied intelligence that revealed the home of unlimited breadsticks was a major economic supply line for Orange Man.

Frightfully confused social media agents working for the baked ziti il duce responded on Twitter to the assault, ‘we don’t know where this information came from, but it’s incorrect.’ Oops! Well, folks, war is Hell and our tireless boys, girls, and xirs of the Resistance may still have been a little off their game recovering from last week’s VE (Victory over Equinox) celebrations. They got this one wrong. It turns out, the Olive Garden intelligence relating to alleged donations the company’s Fettuccine Mussolini made to Orange Man was completely made up for no discernible reason whatsoever by some random dude on Twitter.

If the sun has risen, chances are the left is boycotting something that day. Recent mob actions against national brands have targeted New Balance Sneakers, Yuengling beer, Forbes magazine, TD Bank, Home Depot and Hobby Lobby after revelations that someone involved with the company may have expressed direct or tacit support for the president.

A dozen retailers that dared to have ever stocked a Trump product, from Amazon to Whole Foods to T.J. Maxx, are on their own special boycott list circulating online. And woe betide those blue chip companies with the audacity to advertise on Fox News. One report claimed 70 advertisers left Tucker Carlson’s show last year alone after harassment from progressive mobs.

But something interesting happened last week. The boardgame company Hasbro released Monopoly: Socialism, a hilarious spin on its classic game that relentlessly mocks the contemporary left. The tagline is ‘Capitalism is for winners.’ Players get a living wage. Board spaces include ‘No-Tip Vegan Restaurant,’ and ‘We’re All Winners School.’ The Community Fund, which is intended to give players money when they need it, is designed to be constantly drained.

When progressives got wind of the board game they took to social media and expressed, not the frothing, mad dog antics we’ve all come to expect, but a sort of solemn irritation. Prominent socialists called the game ‘mean-spirited,’ and ‘woefully ill-informed.’ There was no trending hashtag, no videos of pink-haired commie moms burning their children’s toys. Days later #BoycottHasbro had only about a dozen tweets attached to it.

Where was the outrage? When the left isn’t trying to destroy people’s lives and businesses over technicalities, misspeaks, and quotes taken out of context, they skulk around the internet hoping to find conservatives hiding in the shadows, primed to be dragged out and exposed. For people in business or public life who aren’t outspoken conservatives, the left assumes you’re ashamed and afraid, either of your own beliefs or of being discovered. For many millions, especially those in the media, arts, or entertainment, they’re right about this.

Like all bullies, the left preys on this fear and presumed self-loathing. The media aids activists by creating a firestorm around the ‘reveal,’ like the recent Equinox boycott. Why should anyone be surprised people in business, and especially a real estate mogul like the Equinox guy, might vote Republican? Hasn’t it always been that way? It’s not news. Still they put a massive spotlight on someone who isn’t accustomed to this type of national attention, not only to upset and humiliate that person, but as a warning to anyone else who may be considering holding a fundraiser or making a donation.

That’s the difference with Hasbro. Had some journalist discovered, and ‘discovered’ is the key word, a Hasbro executive donated to Trump, the pitchforks would have been out in full force. But when a major brand, or prominent person, drops them a massive middle finger, the left are completely stunned into silence. It utterly disarms them, and they drift away in a daze. Just look at the MyPillow guy, Mike Lindell.

I experienced this myself. In 2016 I was publishing stories in mainstream media that, while not overtly in support of either side, refused to mindlessly regurgitate the lies media was telling about Trump supporters. I was curious about them, not hateful. Activists and media personalities picked up on this. Sensing I might have some shameful, hidden right-wing views, they swarmed, calling for a boycott of the magazine I worked for, for me to be fired, and sent death threats.

I saw this happen to other journalists. They’d immediately cave, issue a disingenuous apology and self-flagellate for a few days. They’re probably still on a list somewhere. But I never did, and the harassment never fully ended until, months later, I finally dropped a nuke of a story in which I condemned the left completely and came out as a conservative. To my surprise, the mob disappeared. Progressive bullies were silent, nowhere to be found. Suddenly I wasn’t a Nazi who needed to confess or die, but just worthy of an occasional eyeroll emoji from a left-wing blogger

I hope this may be instructive to people, especially business owners. People cowering in the conservative closet message me all the time, asking for advice. There was a time I told them, unless they want to be fired from their jobs and lose all their friends, they’d better keep quiet. I no longer feel that way. Not only are they doing a great disservice to their country and fellow conservatives, but, sometimes, shrugging and saying ‘so what?’ is the most powerful weapon against the left. They’re never expecting it.